Forgotten memories
by Alexis-17-btvs
Summary: No it's not about the day that never happened this is different. This is my first fanfic. This is for b/a shippers. It may contain some spikebashing so please if you like him don't read this and then flame me. Buffy lost her memory three years ago. N


Prelogue: Buffy never had a relationship with Spike when she came back from heaven, but he did rape her.  
  
  
The year was 2006. The young blonde had no idea who she really was. It'd been 3 years since she'd woken up on a Southern California beach in February not remembering anything from her past including how she had gotten there. She'd been really confused when it all happened. This is how it began.  
  
The girl rolled over as she awoke. The sun was shining brightly on her face. As she opened her eyes she realized she was on a beach. She sat up and looked around, but the place was desserted. No wonder, it was pretty cold out there. As her thoughts became more clear she realized she was all wet and had no idea why she was there. Slowly she stood up and looked around. There was a path up a hill and she could hear cars going by up there. Slowly she climbed up the path. She walked to the edge of the road and then began to walk with the flow of traffic. She was still trying to figure out how she had gotten there when she realized that she didn't even know who she was. She must have looked pretty lost because after a few minutes a car pulled up behind her and a man and woman got out. She turned around when the woman asked if she needed some help. "Um, I guess so," she said," I really don't know". "Well what are you doing out here," the man asked. "I don't know," she told them," I can't actually remember how I got here". "Mitch," the woman said to her husband," I think she probably has amnesia. She looks like a wreck and she probably hit her head or something". "You're right," he agreed,"We should take her to the hospital". So the woman agreed to go along with them to a hospital. "Thankyou," the nurse told the couple when they brought her in," we'll take it from here". So the woman was taken to an examining room where they had her change into a paper gown and wait for a doctor. By the time the doctor came in the woman had had the time to get really nervous. She didn't understand why she couldn't remember. The doctor checked her over and ran a few tests. His conclusion was that she definitely had amnesia. "Well, when will I get my memory back," she asked. "I'm not sure," the doctor told her," it could be a couple of days or it could be years from now, or possibly never". "What," the woman asked upset. "but, there's something else I need to tell you about your test results," the doctor told her," one of the tests that I ran gave me a reason to give you another test and the results tell me that you're pregnant". "I'm what," the young woman gasped. "You're pregnant," the doctor repeated," only about 4 or 5 weeks". "Right of course like this isn't messed up enough as it is," the woman said. "Look you didn't have any I.D. and there wasn't a missing person's report that matched your description so for right now I contacted a local home for women and children who don't have anywhere else to go," the doctor said," the people that run it said there's space for you there until you find out who you are or are able to find another place to stay". "Right," the woman said," thank-you for all of your help". Three months later the woman still didn't have her memory back. All she knew was that she was unusually strong, but she thought it was best if she didn't tell anyone about her unusual strength. So she found a job in Oregon and a place to live and left the shelter. She continued trying to figure out who she was on her own. As time went by and her baby arrived she decided it was time to put her unknown past behind her and move on with her life. So she put away all of her research and papers and concentrated on raising her daughter and providing a good, loving home for her to grow up in.  
  
Now in the fall of 2006 things were going well for her and her daughter. Her job at the local private school had asked if she could transfer to one of their schools in Los Angeles where she would be the head secretary in the main office. She had come up with the name Jennifer Marie Hunter for herself while at the shelter and she'd named her daughter Jamie Lynn Hunter. The two year old had brown hair and eyes and a smile that lit up her whole face. As they got in the car to follow the moving truck Jennifer buckled Jamie into her car seat and pulled away from the only home she could ever remember having. Jamie slept most of the way there. When they arrived the movers unloaded everything. Then Jennifer took Jamie with her to go see her new office space and check out Los Angeles. They were living in an nice house in the heart of the city and her new office also had a daycare right in the school building where Jamie would be looked after while she worked. After seeing the school Jennifer and Jamie explored the city and found a nice park where Jennifer planned to take her to play often. After they explored the city they went home and Jennifer put Jamie to bed and then sat up for awhile thinking about her life. While they had been exploring the city something about it seemed somewhat familiar. Finally she went to bed because she had to get an early start tomorrow. The next day she headed to work with Jamie. On her way she passed an old hotel. Something told her she'd been there before. When she got there she dropped the little girl off at daycare and headed to the main office. At the end of the day she picked Jamie up from daycare and headed to the park. It was nearing the end of October and it was getting dark earlier. So when Jennifer told Jamie it was time to go the little girl looked at her and said,"no," with a little scowl on her face. "Baby it's time. We've been here for almost two hours," Jennifer said," don't you wanna go home and get something to eat and watch a movie with mommy". Jamie thought about it for a minute and slowly her scowl turned into a smile and she said matter-of-factly," Mommy, we go home". "ok then," Jennifer said grinning at her daughter. So they headed home. On the way they passed that old hotel again. Jennifer didn't know why, but there was just something about it that got to her. When they got home she fixed Jamie dinner and then they started watching The Lion King. Halfway through it Jamie fell asleep. Jennifer carefully scooped her up and carried her to her bed. After she tucked her in she went into her own room and went to bed. She couldn't fall asleep though. Too many thoughts were running through her head. She hadn't thought about her past in a long time, but something about this city wouldn't let her stop. When she finally fell asleep she had strange dreams. It was night time and she was on some boat docks. She was fighting these wierd looking things. Someone, a man was helping her, but she couldn't see his face. The dream wasn't clear enough and then she was thrown into the water with one of the creatures and he pulled her under. Then she woke up. She looked at her clock. It was seven-thirty. She had to be to work by eight and she didn't even have Jamie up yet or anything. She took the fastest shower she could and threw her clothes on. Then she got Jamie up and dressed her and fed her breakfast while simultaneously doing her hair. She made it to the school with one minute to spare. After work she started to head home with Jamie, but when she saw that old hotel again she had to stop. She parked on the side and walked to the front. When she walked in the front door she didn't see anyone at first. Then a girl with long brown hair and glasses came out of an office. "Hi I'm Fred," She told Jennifer," Can I help you". "Um, what exactly is this place," Jennifer asked her. "We're sort of like a detective agency," Fred told her cheerily," We help the helpless". "Oh," Jennifer said confused. The place seemed familiar, but she didn't recognize the girl and there was no one else there. "Do you need help," Fred asked. "Um, no," Jennifer said," Sorry to bother you". With that Jennifer left and headed home.   
  
Meanwhile back at the hotel Angel and Gunn had just gotten back from their latest case. "So any new business while we were out," Angel asked Fred. "No," Fred told them,"but there was this blonde woman with a little girl who stopped in. She asked what the place was and when I asked her if she needed help she said no and left. She seemed sort of confused". "Hmm," Angel said shrugging it off and going to get an orange juice out of the fridge. "Strange," Gunn said walking over to kiss Fred hello. "Not like we've never dealt with strange before," Angel said," So where are Cordelia and Lorne at". "Oh they headed over to the club," Fred said," Cordelia wanted to give Lorne some decorating tips for this time". Angel and Gunn both smiled. They both pictured Cordelia taking over the whole remodeling of Lorne's club and ignoring his input. "Surprise, surprise," Angel said. "I'm sure Lorne's enjoying his Friday afternoon," Gunn said. "So how'd that case go," Fred asked them. "Good," Gunn said," Wes got us the research on some monster that was after this girl and her friend. So we headed out there and saved them as usual. Thank God Angel still has his vamp strength. The one girl really had a thing for Angel". "She was nice," was all Angel said. "Angel, man you really need to get out there on the dating scene again," Gunn said," Otherwise how will you ever find yourself a good woman". "I don't need a girlfriend right now," he said. "Angel you've been human for almost three years now," Fred said," don't you think it's time". "Not right now, Fred," Angel said sternly and walked into his office closing the door. Fred and Gunn just gave each other the look that they always did when Angel was like this. He may be human now, but he was still all broody. He'd been ok at first because he'd headed straight to Sunnydale to his love Buffy. They'd been together for almost a month. Angel had been making plans to move to Sunnydale to be with her. He had been coming back to L.A. on the weekends, but Buffy had had to stay in Sunnydale and take care of Dawn. Fred had never met the woman Angel loved, but he'd been screwed up for awhile when she died while they were fighting some monster at the docks. Just then Wesley came in the hotel's front door. "What's going on," He asked them. "Angel's brooding again over Buffy," Gunn told him. "Oh," Wesley said knowingly," yes of course".   
A couple of weeks later things were going great for Jennifer and Jamie. She was getting along with her coworkers and everyone was really friendly. The headmaster liked her alot and always complimented her work. Tonight Jamie was at home with a babysitter and Jennifer was having a staff meeting at the school. At the hotel Cordy had just gotten a vision of a girl and guy at 57912 Lakewood Drive who was being attacked by some run of the mill monster. "Let's go," Angel said as he, Cordelia, Gunn and Fred headed out(Lorne was running his club). Back at the restaurant Jennifer was just getting in her car and heading home. When Angel and the others arrived at the house the front door was half open and inside in the living room the monster had ahold of the boy and the girl was cowering in the corner. Angel and Gunn took him on and won. Luckily this monster discinegrated when killed so there wouldn't be any icky clean-u[ duty. "Are you ok," Cordy started to ask the two teenagers. "That's the last time I visit when you're babysitting," the guy said to the girl. "I'm outta here," the girl said scared half to death," let's go. "The two kids ran out of the house and got into the boys car and left before anyone could say anything else to them. "Great, well let's go," Cordy said. "We can't go," Fred said," didn't you hear that girl was babysitting here. There's a kid here. We have to stay until the parents get home". "Well, where's the kid," Gunn asked. "Probably asleep," said Cordy," I mean it is late". Angel headed down the hall and opened a door. He saw a little girl around two years old and she was still awake. "Hey," Angel said to her," what are you doing up so late little one". "I want mommy," she said to him. "Mommy'll be home soon," Angel told her as he picked her up and carried her out to the living room where the others were. "She's not asleep," he told them. At first she was kinda scared cause she didn't know these people, but once she got a good look at Angel's face she calmed right down. He sat down with her. Cordy looked around and said," looks like they just moved in a little while ago there aren't even any pictures or anything out". "hey," Fred said suddenly," that's the little girl that was with that woman a couple of weeks ago. The one who stopped in wondering what we did at the hotel". "Is it," Angel asked holding the little girl who was now falling asleep in his lap. "yeah," Fred said," isn't that funny". Just then they heard a car pull up the driveway. Gunn headed out the front door to meet the woman and explain sort of what happened to her sitter. "Who are you," Jennifer asked confused to see the man coming out of her house. "Um, ma'am we were sent here....,because your sitter had to leave suddenly," Gunn said making it up as he went along. "Why what happened," Jennifer asked confused. "Well someone told us that she was having trouble with her boyfriend and when we stopped by they had to leave right away," Gunn said partially telling the truth. Just not the details behind it. "Ok," she said," so where's my daughter. Is she alright". "Yes yes of course," Gunn told her," She's inside with some of my colleagues. Jennifer still looked confused as she headed inside.   
Inside there were was a woman in the living room. "Where's Jamie," she asked her," hey wait aren't you the woman from that old hotel". "Um, yeah," Fred told her," Angel and Cordy were putting Jamie back to bed. She just fell back to sleep". "Oh," Jennifer said and headed down the hall. When she entered Jamie's room a man was tucking her in and the woman placed a teddy bear with the little girl. "Excuse me," Jennifer said. They both turned around to look at her. Their faces turned to shock. "What," she asked," what's wrong". "Buffy," the man said looking scared half to death. "Huh," she asked confused. "Buffy, you're alive," he said shocked. "Oh my God," the woman finally said. "What are you talking about. My name's Jennifer," she said," who are you people". "You don't remember," the man asked her. "Remember what," the woman asked him. "It's me Angel," he said. "And Cordelia," the woman said pointing to herself. "Ok," she said looking at them funny. "Why don't we go out to the living room so we don't wake Jamie," she told them. "Yeah, sure," Cordelia said. So they headed out to the living room with the others. Angel was still in shock. "Please sit down," she asked them all," now what in the Hell is going on here". "What do you mean," Fred asked. "This man, Angel is it....keeps calling me Buffy," she said. "Whoa," Gunn said knowingly. Jennifer really looked at Angel for the first time. There was something about him. She felt like she knew him somehow. "Wait, Angel Buffy died three years ago," Fred said calmly," This woman probably just looks like her". "Wait a minute," Jennifer said," you said three years ago". "Yeah," Fred told her. "It's her," Angel told them," I know it is". "I lost my memory three years ago," Jennifer told them quietly. "It is you," Cordelia said. "Wait you have amnesia," Fred asked. "Um, yeah," Jennifer said," three years ago I woke up on a beach and I didn't know who or where I was. The doctor said I might get my memory back soon or possibly never". "So are you saying you know who I am," Jennifer anxiously asked Angel. "Yeah," he said shaking his head," Your name is Buffy Anne Summers. You live in Sunnydale, California with your sister Dawn. You moved there when you were 16. That's when we met". "Ok," she said feeling a little out of it," So why can't I remember anything now. What happened". "You and I were at the docks in Sunnydale by the ocean one night," Angel began unsure of what to tell her happened. What if she didn't believe him about monsters and all that. "And there were some guys there. We got into a fight with them and one of them jumped into the ocean with you and pulled you under. We all thought you were dead". "Wait a minute," she said remembering her dream," those guys that you're talking about, they weren't normal were they? They were different, almost...like monsters or something. Wait, what am I saying. That's crazy". "No, it's not actually that crazy," Angel told her," you're right. You remember". "I know I know you," she told him," I can feel it. We have a connection. Were we together. Like a couple". "Yeah," he told her," we were together". "Jamie," she whispered. "Huh," Cordelia asked daring to interrupt the reconnection of Buffy and Angel. Buffy looked at Angel and said," Can I ask you something kind of personal". "Sure," he said still reeling from the whole thing. "Were we together right before I disappeared," she swallowed before saying," like....intimately". "Um," Angel paused a little uneasy at talking about this in front of everyone," yes, we were". "I thought so," she said. "What do you mean," he asked. "Jamie," was all she said. "What about her," Fred asked. "She's yours," Buffy said looking at Angel. "Wait, you mean he's her father," Gunn asked. "Yeah," Buffy said. "I have a daughter," Angel said taking it all in. He had Buffy back and he had a daughter. Just then a cry came from down the hall," mommy". Buffy got up and went down to get Jamie who'd woken up and heard them all talking in the living room. She hated being left out. When Buffy came back Jamie was walking in front of her and no longer sleepy. This time she looked around at all of the people in their house. She was ready to play. She grabbed a book and walked over to Angel and sat it on his lap. Angel looked confused. "She wants you to read it to her," Buffy told him. "Oh," Angel said realizing. He took his little girl up on his lap and began to read the book to her. Buffy watched them intently. The others realized that Buffy and Angel needed time to get reaquainted. "I'm gonna call a cab to pick us up," Gunn said taking out his cellphone. Angel looked at him for a moment before Jamie insisted that he continue reading. "You guys need some time," Gunn explained. Fifteen minutes later Angel was reading his third book to Jamie and Buffy was just sitting there watching them. She was processing everything that'd happened in the last hour and then the cab pulled up. "Ok , we're going now," Cordelia told them. "Bye," Buffy said barely audible. The three of them left.   
It was only Buffy, Angel and Jamie now. As Angel continued reading Buffy's eyes began to close and slowly she drifted off. When he finished the third story he looked over and realized she was asleep. He took the afghan off of the back of the couch and covered her with it. Jamie insisted that he read her one more story, but half way through it she too fell asleep. Angel sat there with the girl asleep in his arms thinking. He couldn't believe that he had Buffy back and they had a daughter together. After a little while he drifted off too. While asleep Buffy began to dream again. She was in a house somewhere a teenage girl was running down the stairs and into the kitchen where a red headed girl was with two guys. One of them was Angel. As Buffy walked in they said hello to her and she recalled all of their names. Dawn, Willow, Xander and of course Angel. The love of her life. Her soulmate. "Where are Anya and Tara," she asked them. "We sent them out for pancake mix and milk just a minute ago," Willow said. "Cool, real breakfast," Buffy said as she walked over and sat in Angel's lap. They all sat around had their breakfast and as the day progressed they headed to a store called the Magic Box. Angel and Buffy headed in the back to train while the others helped Anya run the store or sat around at the table by the back of the store. As the day neared the end Buffy sent Dawn home with Willow and Tara and she and Angel headed out to patrol. They fought a few demons and vamps and then headed home for the night. They were so in love. As the dream wore on everything was coming back to Buffy. She remembered her life as the slayer and her relationships with all of the people in her dream. Then she was back on the docks with Angel like before. They tried to fight the demons, but once again Buffy was thrown over the edge of the docks with one of the demons and pulled under.   
She woke up asking for Angel. He woke up to his name and layed Jamie down in the chair and went over and sat down next to Buffy. "Angel," she said again as she wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. "I remember everything," she whispered to him. He pulled away and looked into her eyes," you remember everything," he asked her. She shook her head yes. "Oh God, Angel I've missed you so much," she said. "I missed you too," he said as they kissed for the first time in three years. They held onto each other for dearlife until they heard Jamie stir and then she opened her eyes to see them in each other's arms. "Mommy," Jamie said getting down from the chair and walking over to them. Buffy picked her up sitting her in her lap. "Baby," she said," this...is your daddy". "I know," the little girl said. "You do," Buffy and Angel both asked her. "Mmhmmm," she said nodding her head. "Of course she does," Buffy said," after all she has a slayer for a mother and an ex-vampire for a father. She probably has some special senses of her own". "Makes sense," Angel said agreeing. "Well, it's way past your bedtime little miss," Buffy told her daughter," let's get you into bed". Buffy and Angel tucked the little girl in together and then went into Buffy's room. "So what have you been doing for the past three years," he asked her. They sat on the bed and she told him about what she'd been doing for the last three years. Then he told her what he'd been doing. He told her how they thought that the demon had killed her and they hadn't reported it because they didn't want social services to take Dawn away. He told her how devastated he'd been and how he didn't come out of his hotel room for almost two months. He wouldn't talk to anyone, but eventually Dawn and the others made him realize that Buffy would have wanted him to continue helping people. "I can't believe all of this is happening," Buffy told him. "I know," Angel told her," I thought I'd lost you forever and now here we are getting another chance". "I've waited my whole life for this," Buffy told him. You're not the only one," he told her. Suddenly she looked at him knowingly. They'd been apart for three years and neither one of them had even thought about being with someone else. Even when they thought they would never be together again neither of them had been able to move on. Finally they could be together. They were a family. Buffy leaned toward him and they began to kiss. As the passion grew they slowly layed down on the bed. Buffy began to unbutton Angel's shirt as they continued kissing. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other. And then they made their reunion complete.   
As she fell asleep in Angel's arms after they made love Buffy was the happiest she could remember being since Angel had come to her three years ago and told her that he was finally human. She fell asleep with a smile on her face and dreamt of the life they would have together. When she woke up it was still early. Luckily it was Saturday so she didn't have to go into work. She lay there and watched Angel until he woke up. "I was thinking we should probably go to Sunnydale today," she told him. "Yeah, of course," he said," they're going to be shocked". "Yeah I pretty much figured," she said. "Ok I've gotta get Jamie up and I've gotta get in the shower too. And you've gotta get ready too, oh but you don't have clothes here...," she was rambling on. "How about I get Jamie ready and take her with me to the hotel to get my clothes and tell the others what's going on and while I'm doing that you can take your time getting ready and calming down those nerves," he told her as he rubbed her back. "I suppose that works too," she said grateful that he knew what to do. So he got Jamie up and ready and then when Buffy got in the shower he headed to the hotel with Jamie. Cordelia, Fred and the others watched her while Angel took a shower. Then he explained what had happened to the others and then he and Jamie headed back to Buffy's to get her and head to Sunnydale. When they headed inside Buffy was coming out of the bedroom. She was dressed and ready to go, but she looked nervous. "Are you ok," Angel asked her. "Yeah, I'm just a little nervous that's all," she said," I mean I haven't seen them in three years. Dawn's eighteen now and in college. Xander and Anya are married. Giles is back in town. Willow finally has the magick under control again. I just can't believe I've been gone for so long. I missed a whole lot. What if I don't fit in anymore?". "Trust me," Angel told her," You'll fit right back in. They've done ok the last few years, but like me there's been something missing. They'll be beyond happy to see you. You have nothing to worry about". "Thank-you, you always know what to say when I'm a nervous wreck," she said. "Of course," he said," what else am I good for". "Well I can think of a few things," Buffy said coyly and then turning to Jamie," and now little miss it's time for you to meet your Aunt Dawn and my other friends". So they headed out the door and got into Buffy's car, but Angel drove because she was too nervous. Jamie kept getting them to join in on her singalongs on the way there. Luckily half way there she tired out and fell asleep. So Buffy was able to collect her thoughts before they got there.  
A few hours later they passed the WELCOME TO SUNNYDALE sign. "So where do you think they'll be," Buffy asked," Do they still have the magick shop". Angel had told her mainly what he knew, but he hadn't really kept in contact since she'd disappeared because it was too painful for him. "Yeah they still have the shop," he told her," I figured that'd be the best place to go first. It's possible they're all there even". "I hope so," Buffy said," it'll be easier that way". When they reached the Magick Box Buffy took a few deep breaths and then got out of the car. She got a sleeping Jamie out of the backseat and held her in her arms. Angel came over to her side of the car and looked her in the eye. "Are you ready to do this," he asked her. "Do you think you could go in first," she asked him," maybe prepare them a little. I mean you don't have to tell them that I'm back, just you know let them know that what's going on is gonna surprise them a little". "I can do that," he said. So he headed inside while she waited with Jamie until he came and got them. Surprisingly everyone was inside. "Hey guys," he said when no one had noticed him. "Angel," Willow said surprised as she looked up from her spot at the table with Xander and Dawn. Anya and Giles were behind the counter. "Look everyone it's Angel," Xander said as if they hadn't already noticed. "What are you doing here, Angel," Giles asked surprised himself. "Um, actually I have some news," he told them. "What is it," Dawn asked curiously deciding her homework could wait. "Well actually I'm gonna let you see for yourselves. I just wanted to let you know first that you're gonna be a little shocked," he said a little nervous himself. "So you're not gonna tell us," Anya asked confused. "Um, no," Angel told her," just a minute". He went outside for a minute and when he came back in he was followed by Buffy who was still holding Jamie.  
  
"What in the Hell is going on," Xander asked. He thought Angel was playing some cruel joke on them. "Is this a joke," Giles asked Angel clearly not amused. "This isn't funny," Willow said hurt. "No, no, it's not a joke," Buffy finally spoke up. "Buffy," Dawn whispered barely daring to hope. She couldn't possibly come back from the dead a second time. Could she? "It's me Dawn," Buffy said trying to stay calm. "Here," Angel said taking Jamie from her so she could talk to them without worrying about waking her up. Buffy went over to the table and Angel followed standing behind her by the stairs up to the stacks. Giles and Anya walked over still confused. "Could someone please explain," Willow asked. "Yes, I will," Buffy told her," I am Buffy. It's me I swear. I've had amnesia for the past three years and I couldn't remember who I was". "So what made you remember," asked Anya. She was the only one in the group who wasn't still too shocked to talk. "Um, actually it was Angel," she said looking at him for a moment," he showed up at my house last night when one of Cordelia's visions sent him there. Seeing him again made something click in my head and while I was asleep I had a dream and it all came back to me". "I can't believe it 's really you," Dawn said with tears in her eyes clearly happy to have her sister back. She threw her arms around Buffy. "I've missed you so much," she said. "I missed you too Dawny," Buffy said," You grew up on me". "This is amazing," Xander finally spoke up. "Yes it is," Giles agreed. After Dawn let go of Buffy Giles hugged her. He finally had his daughter back. Slowly they all came around. Their little family was complete again. They took turns hugging her. Everyone was overjoyed. Then Willow finally noticed the little girl asleep in Angel's arms. "Who's this," she asked acknowledging the little girl. They'd all been so shocked at seeing Buffy again that they'd overlooked the girl. "That's another little surprise," Buffy told them," This little one is our daughter," she motioned to Angel and herself,"Her name is Jamie". "Oh my God," Dawn said," I have a niece". "Yeah," Buffy said," I found out that I was pregnant for her right after I lost my memory. I didn't know that Angel was her father until last night". "Wow," Willow said. "Sure Buff, just leave town for a few years, don't even write and then you show up with a kid," Xander joked," you just needed some cheap babysitter's didn't you?". "You got me," Buffy said," I just couldn't afford the expensive L.A. sitters anymore". They all smiled. Finally after all this time they were all together. It was the way it should be. They all sat down at the table including Angel. They needed to catch up, but a few minutes into talking Jamie began to stir. Then she opened her eyes. "Daddy, is this it," she asked wondering if this was the place with all of her mommy's friends. "It sure is," Angel told her turning her around on his lap to face everyone. "Hi mommy," she said upon seeing Buffy. "Hi baby," Buffy said to her. "Where's my Aunt Dawn," she asked knowing she was supposed to meet her here. "She's right here," Buffy said putting her arm around Dawn who was sitting next to her. "Hi," Dawn said to the little girl," you're adorable. "Thankyou," Jamie said," you too". She liked to return compliments to people even if they didn't always make a ton of sense. They all laughed. She really was adorable. A perfect blend of Buffy and Angel. She was shy at first with all of the people around, but she quickly warmed up. Pretty soon she was going around the table playing games with everyone while they caught up with each other. She especially liked knock knock jokes and guessing games. She went over to Willow with both tiny fists behind her back. "Which one," she asked her. "Um, that one," Willow said pointing to her left hand. The little girl brought her hand out front and opened it up. It was empty. "Nope," she said. Then she brought out her right hand and opened it up. It was empty too. "Hey you tricked me," Willow said trying to sound shocked. "Yup," the little girl said as her little eyes got wide and she started to giggle. "Ah, she sure knows how to fool you," Xander said laughing at the little girl's trick. "I fooled you too," Jamie said looking at him as she continued giggling. She had just pulled the same trick on him, but the others had missed it while they were catching up. "That was supposed to be our little secret," He told her. "Ah hah," Buffy said," See Xander none of your secrets are safe with a two year old". "I should have known better," he said. Giles smiled he adored the little girl who was like a grandaughter to him. When Buffy had introduced them she had told Jamie that he was like a father to her. So Jamie had already decided she was gonna call him Papa. She had already done it a few times. At first he wasn't so sure he was going to like being called Papa( it might make him feel old), but then she started calling him by the name and he immediately fell in love with her. He didn't have much experience with little kids, but he knew he was going to enjoy being a part of her life. She truly was a joy to have around. Jamie had also taken to call not only Dawn her aunt, but Willow and Anya too and Xander was her uncle. Granted Dawn was her only blood relative besides her parents, but she liked the idea of finally having a big family. It'd always been just her and Buffy, but from now it'd be different. There'd always be people around.   
  
By the time they finished catching up it was late. They'd been there for hours. Xander had run to get them lunch and then dinner. They were all starting to yawn so Buffy said," I think we should probably call it a night. We can resume this tomorrow at our house". "You do mean like your house with me, right," Dawn asked expectantly. "Of course," Buffy said," assuming of course that my room is still available". "Yeah absolutely," Willow said," Hell it's still your house Buffy. It's still in your name and everything. We didn't touch anything in your room and Dawn moved up to the attic so we can turn her old room into a room for Jamie". She was really excited about having Buffy back and living back in the house. It'd never quite felt right without her there. And having Angel and Jamie there would just add to the homeyness of it all. She loved having people around all of the time. Dawn was excited too. She had her sister back and her sister's boyfriend who she'd always thought of as an older brother when they were dating and of course her little niece who was just the cutest thing ever. So they all said their Goodbyes. "I'm so glad you're here, Buff," Xander said as he hugged her goodbye. "Me too," she said. "I'm glad you're not dead," Anya said happily when it was her turn. She hadn't lost her...well Anyaness. "You're not the only one," Buffy said as she hugged her," but thankyou". Then it was Gile's turn. "I'm so glad you're back," he said with tears in her eyes. "I am too," she said as she hugged him back and her own eyes filled with tears," I've missed you". "Well this time I plan to stay in Sunnydale indefinitely," he told her. "This is very good news," she told him as she wiped a tear from her cheek," you can't leave anymore. I'd miss you too much". "Agreed," he said," you either". She shook her head yes. Slowly they headed off their seperate ways for the night. When they reached Buffy's house they all headed inside. Surprisingly Jamie was still awake. She'd started yawning a bit, but she was trying to hide it from her parents so they wouldn't make her go to sleep. She was out of luck. Angel'd already caught on. So they stayed up for a little while longer, but they'd all had a long day and headed to bed pretty quickly. There was still Dawn's old twin bed in her old room so they tucked Jamie in there. She'd just gotten a new big girl bed for her birthday recently and she was very good at staying in it. She hardly moved at all while she slept. Buffy'd made sure to grab Jamie's favorite stuffed animal out of the car and gave it to her to sleep with. Dawn went up to the attic after saying goodnight to everyone and Willow headed into her room. Buffy and Angel headed into her old room which had been their room for almost a month when he'd first turned human. As a matter of fact he still had some clothes there. They fell asleep in each other's arms. Both of them happy.   
  
Around three a.m. Buffy heard a noise downstairs and got up to check it out. When she got downstairs she headed into the kitchen where the noise was coming from. When she got in there Dawn was standing at the fridge with the door wide open. "Looking for an early morning snack," Buffy asked her. Dawn turned around,"oh, not really," she said," I just couldn't sleep". "Oh," Buffy said understandingly," Yeah it has kind of been an interesting day". "You can say that again," Dawn said shutting the door to the fridge and coming over to the counter where Buffy was sitting on a stool. "I'm sorry I just kinda threw all of this at you today," Buffy said. "No no don't be. I'm so glad that you're here and that I have you back," Dawn said,"I'm just sick of the dark forces messing with our lives and always ripping our family apart. I don't think I could take it if it ever happens again". Buffy felt bad for her. Her little sister had had to grow up a lot faster than most kids. Granted she herself had grown up way fast, but she hadn't wanted that for Dawn. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to be here for you these past three years or the time I really was dead," Buffy said," I know life hasn't been easy for you. I can't guarantee you that fate won't step in and mess up our lives again, but I am going to promise you that I will try my very best to keep it from happening. We've both already lost so much, but I'm hoping that finally we can be happy and live our lives somewhat normally. At least by slayer standards anyhow". "Oh, Buffy I I know that you'll do your best. You always have. I couldn't have asked for a better sister," Dawn said," I'm so glad you're back that I can't even put it into words. There's just a part of me that keeps saying this is too good to be true. I'm afraid that if I go to sleep that I might wake up and find that all of this is a dream. I mean I know that it's not, but when monsters mess with us this often it's hard to be optimistic and believe that something this good can be happening". Buffy hugged her tightly and stroked her hair. She may have legally been an adult now, but she was still Buffy's little sister and sometimes people needed someone else to be the adult. God knows Buffy had needed that a few times herself. Even if she hadn't gotten it most of the time, but if she could be there for Dawn she was going to be. Eventually they went back to bed after talking for awhile.  
  
The next morning the doorbell rang at seven a.m. It was Giles. Buffy heard it and she and Angel went downstairs to get the door. "Giles, what are you doin' up so early," Buffy asked," I mean we did have kind of a late night". "Yes, I know," he said as they went into the living room and sat down," but when I got home last night I couldn't sleep so I stayed up researching about the demons that caused this to happen. You see before I didn't really feel like researching them because regardless of what I found out about them it wouldn't bring you back.....or so I thought at the time. Anyhow I did some research last night and found out that they were Pelthar demons. Their power is to take away memory. Usually it's permanent, but since you're the slayer it didn't quite work the way it would on your average person. They must have been paid off by someone to take your memory because they themselves are harmless to people. They keep to themselves and only come above ground to eat". "Well what do they eat," Buffy asked. "That's just it. They're vegetarians," Giles said," they're one of the harmless demons that slayer's don't usually have to fight". "I see," Angel said," So who do you think would do this". Before Giles could respond Buffy did. "It was Spike," she said knowingly. "Yes, that was my guess as well," Giles said. " His obsession with you...," Giles said," he probably wanted to make you pay for not being with him. He's always hated Angel ever since he got his soul and he was jealous that the two of you were finally able to be together and he has no one. Of course his being a monster probably has to do with that". "I'm going to kill him," Buffy said. "Well, chances are that he'll show up again once word gets back to him that you've regained your memory and are back in Sunnydale with all of us," Giles said. "You're right," Angel said," we'll stop him this time". "It's been three years, he's probably found a way to get that chip out of his head by now, right?," Buffy questioned Giles as she took Angel's hand. She was worried. "Yes, he probably found a way to remove the chip," Giles told her," Which makes him a danger....to all of us this time". "This sucks," Buffy said. "What sucks," came Willow's voice from the stairs. "Well, as it turns out Spike is the one that sent those demons after Angel and Buffy and got them to take her memory," Giles told her as Willow came in and sat down with them," and now that she's back Spike will probably show up again and try to destroy our lives, as usual". "Wow that's really not great," Willow said. "Tell us about it," Angel said. "So what do we do," Willow asked. "We're not sure yet," Giles said. "Well seeing as it's still early in the morning I think we should wait just a few hours before we get into research mode," Buffy said. "Buffy this is important," Giles said," for all we know Spike could already be planning something". "Look I'm sure that there's nothing we could find out that would be of any more use now than it will be in a few hours", Buffy said frustrated. "Buffy I know everything is just getting back into place, but this is important," Willow persisted. "Well, I can't do it right this minute," Buffy said getting up and going out the back door to the deck. "I think I should go talk to her,' Angel said getting up also and heading after her.  
  
Outside Buffy had thought after thought running through her head. She'd just gotten everything back yesterday. There was no way she was going to let Spike take everything from her again. She wouldn't let the rape she suffered at his hands destroy her life again. Buffy hadn't chosen to tell anyone including Angel. She knew if she told Angel he'd go after Spike. Although she knew he still had his vampire strength she was worried something would happen. She also didn't want to lose him again right after he'd come back. If he'd gone after Spike he would have been gone for a long time and Buffy felt safer knowing Angel was there with her rather than traveling the globe possibly being killed by Spike. If that'd happened she wouldn't have known. For all she would know he was still out there looking for Spike or he could be dead. She had just wanted to seek comfort in Angel when he came back and get back to being as normal as possible. Now she had to face it all again. She'd tried her best to just forget it'd happened because Spike left town right after it'd happened and she'd had to deal with the situation with Willow almost immediately afterward so no one questioned if Buffy was ok. She knew you weren't supposed to keep these things to yourself, but she was almost ashamed of what Spike had done to her. She just kept thinking if she'd just tried harder she should have stopped him. She'd decided back when she was still in Sunnydale that she'd just put the incident behind her. She'd figured as long as Spike was out of her life she didn't have to deal with it, Now it was coming back to haunt her. Just then she heard the back door open and Angel came out to check on her. She turned around to face him with tears streaking her cheeks. "What's goin' on," he asked her as he walked over to the steps and they sat down together. "Nothing," she said," I just don't feel like researching right this minute. I don't see why it's such a big deal". "No, it's more than that," Angel said knowingly," what aren't you telling me. Does it have to do with Spike". She knew she had to tell him. Maybe now she would finally deal with what Spike did to her. That kind of stuff really screwed you up emotionally. Especially if it wasn't dealt with. "Yeah," she said quietly,"when you and I got back together three years ago... I didn't tell you everything. I left one thing out that I was hoping to never deal with again". "What is it," Angel asked gently," you can tell me anything. You know that". "Right before he left," Buffy paused taking a breath," He showed up at our house. I was about to take a bath and he showed up. I told him to get out, but he refused to listen to me. So he um....he um....," she paused taking another deep breath and running a hand through her hair self consciously," he.......". She couldn't get it out. "What," Angel asked," what'd he do". "I can't," she said feeling lightheaded she put her head down on her knees". "Buffy you need to tell me," Angel said never suspecting what she was about to tell him," it could help us stop him from ruining ours or anyone else's lives again". She knew she had to tell him, but she felt sick to her stomach remembering the events of that night. This was the one part of her memory she wished she hadn't gotten back. "He.....tried to kiss me, and when I pushed him away from me he got angry," she said crying harder. Angel was starting to understand what she was trying to tell him. "Buffy, did he hurt you," he asked gently praying to God he was misunderstanding her. She slowly shook her head yes as she lifted it to look at him. "He pushed me down....and,um...I was already hurt from patrol,so....I couldn't push him off," she had tears running down her face," I tried I swear, but I wasn't at full strength so he got what he wanted". Angel closed his eyes and put his face in his hands as he took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Then he reached out and took Buffy in his arms. Trying to console her, but even he wasn't sure what to do. She felt sick to her stomach, but the tiniest bit relieved that she'd finally told. It wasn't a secret anymore. Now she had to find the courage to tell the others. The sooner the better. Angel held her tight and let her know she was safe. She felt safe with him knowing that he would protect her no matter what.  
  
"I didn't tell you because I was afraid that you'd go after him and although that wouldn't be a bad thing I couldn't bear for you to leave me again,"she said muffled into his chest," and I was afraid that something would happen to you and I'd lose you all over again. I didn't want to take that chance. The only ones that know are Xander and Dawn and that's because he showed up right after it happened and then he told Dawn when the whole mess with Willow was going on". She was crying now. "Buffy I wish you'd told me," Angel said as he held her closer and rubbed her back. "I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair,"I'm so sorry". He wanted to take away her pain, but he knew it wasn't that easy. Spike'd hurt her in a way that cut down deep into her very core. Angel knew that. Now he wanted Spike dusted and for Buffy to be able to truly recover from the incident and finally move on with her life. She found comfort in Angel's embrace and she knew having him there would help her face what'd happen and move on the right way instead of just forgetting it'd ever happened. She let him just hold her and comfort her for a few minutes. Then Willow came out the door.  
  
" Sorry to interrupt," she said," but Jamie just woke up and she wants you Buffy". "Ok," Buffy said as she and Angel got up and headed in behind Willow. Buffy and Angel headed upstairs to get Jamie just as Dawn was coming down. "Morning," she said to them. "Morning," Buffy and Angel both said. He kept going up and gave them a moment. "See it wasn't a dream," Buffy told her as Dawn gave her another hug to be sure she was real. When Buffy got into Jamie's room Angel was already making her feel better. "....we're here now,"Angel told her as she sat in his lap wrapping her little arms around his neck in a hug. "Is everything ok," Buffy asked him. "Yeah, she just woke up in a strange room and she didn't know where you were so she got a little scared," Angel told her. "I see she's taken to you rather quickly," Buffy said with a smile noticing her hanging onto him. Angel smiled back. "That's cause she's a daddy's girl," Angel said smiling back. "That she is," Buffy said grateful that Jamie accepted him as her father right away, as if he'd always been there. Angel picked her up and the three of them headed downstairs with the others. When they got downstairs Xander and Anya had already arrived for their reconvenement of last night's catching up assemblance. "Wow everyone's up early this morning," Buffy said when she saw them. "Well we kept waking up and then trying to go back to sleep and seeing as it didn't work we figured we'd see if you guys were up yet," Xander said," and guess what? You are". "Gee thanks for telling me," Buffy said sarcastically," because I wasn't aware of that". "Yes Giles was researching last night and he came over to tell us what was probably up," Angel told them. "Well what is up," Anya asked. "It seems that Spike is the one that sent the demons after Buffy and Angel three years ago and took her memory," Willow explained," and now that she has it back he'll probably be back in town to start some more trouble". Xander gave Buffy a look. "Well we have to stop him," he said knowingly. "You're right," Angel told him," and we will. He's not getting anywhere near Buffy ever again". The look that he gave Xander let him know that Angel knew what Spike'd done. "We need to kill him," Dawn said remembering what he'd done to Buffy. "We'll get him Dawn," Giles promised. Jamie sat in Angel's lap. Luckily she was still too young to understand or even care what they were talking about at the moment. She was preoccupied with a picture book Angel had given to her. Buffy was still a little nervous about the whole Spike thing. She knew that she was going to have to tell Giles, Willow and Anya about what he did because now she needed to work through it. In order to do that she was going to need the support of everyone around her. She was sick of keeping secrets and facing Spike or even talking about him was going to bring up her hatred of him. She figured if the others knew what was going on they might not push too hard if she reacted badly sometimes while they were trying to defeat him once and for all. Now maybe they'd be able to try and help her cope with what happened and move on. 


End file.
